Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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