its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
