I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings