after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
