in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
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I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
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Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here