Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.