Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
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Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
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Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.