made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many