we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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