The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
