Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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