Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
