I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
