I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You are a genius and a whore.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize