You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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