Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My liver just had a heart attack.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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