We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dicks are not precious.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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