These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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