I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
