it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
