Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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