I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.