You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
