worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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