well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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