dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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