I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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