I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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