fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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