was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
