I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize