he wants to bone in the snuggie
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
