I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
