Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
