I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is wine microwaveable?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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