omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
