Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize