Who did Billy Mays play for?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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