Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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