I want to make a zoo with you.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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