I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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