He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
