After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
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He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
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At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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