Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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