i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
