I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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