I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize