your thong is hanging out like whoa
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
