I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
and you fell through a lawn chair
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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