Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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