Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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