so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
