Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
