yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
