But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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