The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize