last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
