I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
