In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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