I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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